To my mother

There are so many things to say and so many different ways to honor mothers on this day.  I am never very eloquent nor very creative, but wanted to take this day to say to my mom all the things that just never get said.

My mom has many gifts and many positive qualities, so today I am going to highlight the best of the best of my mom, Mary.

Meeting Malachi

1.  My mother is servant extraordinaire.  Of all the things that she is gifted in, serving others is by far her biggest strength.  Helping me and others behind the scenes is the most natural thing for her to do in the world.  Without a second thought, she can mend clothes, complete several loads of laundry, scrub a messy kitchen counter, and run to the grocery store.   She does all of this well and without needing or expecting one ounce of recognition.  I do one of those things, and I call it a day.

Afrika Bite

2.  My mother is a wonderful planner.  Perhaps I respect this so much because it is such a weakness of mine.  She can plan a week's worth of meals (breakfasts, lunches, AND dinners) for a crowd and have the whole schedule run smoothly, making emergency substitutions without breaking a sweat.  She thinks of every possible scenario (rain plan, sick plan) and is forever prepared, just-in-case.  She has anticipated every possible treat that we could want: hot chocolate on a cold night, skinny cows in the freezer, popcorn to go with the movie, and recipes to try with the kids.

3.  My mother is intelligent.  This is a woman who earned her master's degree while working full time and managing a busy house with three children.  She was very good at what she did professionally, and was still able to be super involved in church.  She can do many things at the same time, and she can do them all well.  Her knowledge about trivia and history and grammar and on and on runs circles around me.  Her pace, then and now, exhausts me, but some how she pulled it off with a smile and with ironed clothes.  (I ironed some pants yesterday for my husband, and Elizabeth walked in the room and asked me "what's this?"  Um, it's an ironing board.  You've never seen one of those.)

4.  My mother is a nurturer to the core.  She is the one who has made the house just right for your arrival (fresh sheets, candles lit, food bubbling on the stove, and favorite drinks waiting in the fridge).  With her grandchildren she reads book after book, completes puzzle after puzzle, gives space and time for craft after craft (my personal favorite, hahahahaha) and always has some warm treat for after dinner.  She is the one who knows your favorite (meal, drink, snack, treat) and makes sure it is stocked in abundance when you visit.  I love that.

5.  My mother is brave.  While there are many things to write about in this section, I am most impressed by her willingness and dedication to my sister and to me as demonstrated by her jumping on an airplane to travel with both of us when we adopted.  In 2008, my sister adopted from Kazakhstan and stayed in country two months (!!!!) to complete everything, with my mother by her side, having never traveled internationally before.  When we traveled last year to Rwanda, she was her extremely competent self in packing for everyone and forgetting nothing, stepping up when needed, being extremely easy to get along with, and giving all of us a much needed smile or break when we needed it.

First night in Rwanda

There are many more wonderful things that could be said about my beautiful mother.  She does not meddle.  She does not complain.  She does not push her views or agenda or ways of doing things.  She would not always choose what we choose.

But she loves.  

And that has made all the difference.  

Happy Mother's Day, Mom.  

I love you!

really good books

one of our favorite things to do as a family is read.

read, read, and read some more.

we get stacks and stacks from the library and plow through them with vigor.

i love love love to read aloud to my children. now that it is getting dark so much earlier, we have been reading even more, especially after dinner.

we eat and do a quick clean up of the kitchen (the big kids help, whether they want to or not!) and then they all run and get their pajamas on.

do you remember how Malachi has blanket time? well, during reading time, he has blanket time and gets his own stacks of books. all the other kids decided they wanted to sit on their blankets, too, while I read. So there we are, all spread out, each one on his own blanket.

precious.

so tonight, Caleb read to his little siblings (without the blankets, too late tonight) and it hit me that you are likely to love these books as much as we do.

So, quick, go to the library as quickly as you can and get these:

the first

the second

the third (for Valentine's Day, but so excellent any time of year!)

and her newest, one I have not read yet:

Enjoy!

thanksgiving 2011

He brought me to His banqueting table, His banner over me is love.

Uncle Evan with Malachi

this thanksgiving was a time spent reflecting on God's table, His feast, His lavish grace, His overwhelming love, His banner over me. amazing.

recently our pastor was describing a feast he attended where every delightful food you can imagine was on display for all to enjoy. He described how awful it would be if, upon seeing such beauty, the host said to you, no, this table is not for you. You are not allowed to dine with me.

But God does not do that. Instead He sets the most beautiful table, beyond our wildest dreams, and invites us to come, eat, rest, receive.

He brought me to His banqueting table, His banner over me is love indeed.

getting ready

today is a day for the kitchen.

a day for different.

a day for good smells.

a day for giving thanks.

the school books have been put away, not to be seen again for several days.

the hymns are on, the washing machine is doing its last load for a few days.

we took naps.

we watched a movie.

and we cooked. and we cooked. and we cooked.

I tried something new. I had one helper per dish instead of six helpers for six dishes. It went much better that way, once everybody understood they would all get a turn.

big days like this are such a good time for reflection for me. the fact that last Thanksgiving, two of my children were orphans, alone, without brothers or sisters or parents or grandparents or cousins is enough for me to say, you know what? my cranberry sauce can come from a can this year.

because it just doesn't matter.

no turkey crafts, too much baking soda in the pumpkin bread, messy rooms.

it is the perfect year to say no to perfectionism, isn't it?

yes, it is.

two orphans-no-more around my table this year.

we are ready to pause. we are ready to give thanks. we are already giving thanks. deeply.

do what it says

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.

Do what it says."

James 1:22

This morning my three year old didn't do what I asked, even though he clearly heard what I said. I called him over to me, and just as I was about to begin the disciplining process for not obeying, he said "Wait, Mom. We didn't talk about it."

The same is true in my relationship with God.

There are many things that God has asked me to do that I wanted to "talk about"
first—things such as sharing the gospel with my neighbors, humbling myself when
I have been wrong, caring for unlovable people, saying no to material things that easily entangle and distract me. I have delayed my obedience—or worse, I have said "no" outright, or I have just plain ignored His voice, hoping He wasn't really talking to me.

Perhaps this is why the writer of Hebrews quotes Psalm 95:7-8 three times in two chapters: "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts."

God's people had hardened their hearts, gone their own way, rebelled, said no. I am one of them. I am deceived into thinking that just listening to, or being challenged by something means I have obeyed. It seems so radical when obedience actually costs me something. I am so content with easy, cheap obedience.

Thank You, Father God, that You speak to Your people, that You ask me to do hard, uncomfortable things for Your Name's sake and for my good, that I am able to hear Your voice at all. I do not deserve to hear Your voice. I have ignored it so many times. May I learn what obedience really is by keeping my eyes on Jesus, the One who sacrificed everything even when the cost was so high.

God, I pray that my hard heart would awake to Your Voice alone, that I would have ears to hear what You are saying to me, and that I would actually do what You tell me to do.

halloween

Superwhy!

Starring Kate as WonderRed

Elizabeth as Princess Presto

Ezra as Superwhy

and Malachi as AlphaPig

to the rescue!

(thanks, Mom, for the costumes! the kids LOVED them!)

also starring

me, a Ravens football player

Joel, some guy who just got off work

and

Caleb, wait for it....a Ravens football player

and Marie, who was Kanani, the American Girl doll of the year

confessions of a homeschool mom

my sister sent this to me and thought I could relate...

A Prayer When Feeling Overwhelmed

When the servant of the man of God rose early in the morning and went out, behold, an army with horses and chariots was all around the city. And the servant said, “Alas, my master! What shall we do?” He said, “Do not be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” Then Elisha prayed and said, “O Lord, please open his eyes that he may see.” So the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. 2 Kings 6:15–17

Gracious Father, there are times when the “odds” feel quite stacked against us, as your people. With the naked eye, the enemies of justice, truth, and the gospel greatly seem to outnumber your “troops.”

Serving you feels quite overwhelming, at times even futile.

But just when we begin to retreat into a basement of fear or question your concern and faithfulness, once again you open the eyes of our hearts and show us the way things really are. You’re such a patient and merciful God.

Though serving you is not like a childhood game of kickball, when we did our best to choose the best players for our team, nevertheless, it is good—no, vital to know that because of the gospel, “those who are with us are more than those who are with them” (2 Kings 6:16).

But the way of the gospel will always be strength in weakness—the transforming treasure of the gospel in fragile clay pots, like us.

It was three hundred poorly armed soldiers, not thirty-four thousand fighting men, you sent with Gideon to defeat the Midianite army. Jesse’s youngest son, David, a young shepherd, was your choice to be the king of Israel, not the more likely older brothers. Fickle fishermen, not skilled statesmen were chosen to be the first apostles. Most profoundly, it was the crucifixion of Jesus, not an insurrection of zealots, which won our salvation.

Father, the odds are never really stacked against your covenant purposes and your transforming kingdom. You’re not “trying” to do anything. You never have to resort to plan B. You never hedge your bets, cover your flanks or furrow your brow. You are God, and there is no other.

So help us, and your servants throughout the world, not to become weary in preaching the gospel and planting churches, in doing justice and loving mercy—and in “simply” living out the grace of Jesus in marriage, friendship and work. We will reap a harvest at the proper time, if we do not give up (Gal. 6:9), and the gospel is all the motivation, hope, and power we need to not give up.

Before Jesus returns, he will redeem his pan-national bride, and when Jesus returns, he will finish making all things new and usher in the new heaven and new earth. Our labors in the Lord are often exhausting and discouraging, but they are never in vain (1 Cor. 15:58). Hallelujah! We offer our prayer with great gratitude and hope, in Jesus’ trustworthy and triumphant name. Amen.

Scotty Smith

blanket time

while homeschooling or cooking or practicing violin, or anything else that requires a little space, we use a very helpful tool called blanket time.

I did not create blanket time. (thank you, Ezzos!)

Nor did I blanket time would ever work for *my* kids.

But then a couple years ago, I had to keep my toddler Ezra off of the soccer fields while we watched his siblings play, and I was desperate.

so we pulled out a towel and put it on the floor at home with some toys, and told him not to get off. Of course he got off immediately. I took him by the hand and led him back. He got off again. This happened many many times.

I set a timer for two minutes, and when it went off, he could get up. We had a party.

The next day, we set the timer for 5 minutes. And then we gradually increased the time he was to be on the blanket.

While the first few days took lots of redirecting back to the blanket, I eventually was able to watch soccer games in peace, without my little guy racing all over the field.

And now Malachi is learning the same skill!

Try it. It helps so much!

it's the little things

full day with 3 back to back soccer games on a glorious fall morning...

Lunch was chili dogs and sun chips...yum

College football on as we sorted closets...out with the summer clothes, in with the warm clothes...

Baths and the biggest hit of the day...Daddy went to Walmart and bought Elizabeth new pajamas...she put them on right away and hasn't taken them off...

Even Malachi likes them!

ouch in a good way

I am reading the Gospel of Mark, it seems like for the very first time.

it isn't the first time, but it may as well be.

so good. so hard.

there is a boy.

with problems.

big problems and big consequences.

this problem is "robbing" the little boy, the Scripture says. Robbing him of speech. (So many things that are being robbed around me as a result of problems...peace, joy, love)

his father is desperate for help.

he brings his son to the disciples for help. they cannot help even though they try.

his father brings the boy to Jesus.

Jesus knows the boy has problems and let's the father explain the problem.

his father confesses his belief that falls short. he knows it isn't where it should be.

Jesus deals with the boy's specific problems. the boy is healed.

the disciples want to know why they can't solve the big problems themselves, without Him bailing them out for all the world to see.

Jesus says that this evil, this problem can only be dealt with by prayer.

they can't do it on their own.

and they are exposed for the prayerless followers that they are.

ouch.

(do I have any children with big problems? are my children being "robbed of _____" whatever as a result of their big problem? am I trying to fix those problems without prayer?! am I bringing them to Jesus, trusting His healing and timing? do I think I can do it on my own?)

"Now, don't be took quick to condemn the disciples. I think there is a whole lot of prayerless Christianity in the church of Jesus Christ. I think we often try to defeat, in our own strength, things that we have no capacity whatsoever to defeat. We attempt to do in our own power things that we have no ability to do without empowering grace.

--Paul Tripp, "Love Warns, Love Rebukes," www.desiringGod.org

praying for sweet

A cup of sweet water could never spill a drop of bitter water,

no matter how heavily it was jolted." -Amy Carmichael

perspective

every now and then, I sense God's answer to my prayer keenly.

my prayer...

"teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom."
Psalm 90:12

number our days...

these blessings will not be under my roof forever...

number our days...

my words matter

number our days...

my actions matter

number our days...

look into their eyes

number our days...

this beautiful, messy, not-perfect marriage is a gift

number our days...

my feelings are not my Lord

number our days...

that I may gain a heart of wisdom.

Oh, how I want that heart of wisdom.

Today all the dishes and the laundry and the loud voices and the crumbs and the dirty diapers and the shoes and the sticky hands and the papers strewn about and the markers and the toys are received as part of my beautiful portion and cup.

Some days, sadly even most days, my natural tendency is to reject these things as interruptions, delays, inconveniences.

But today, I thank God that He has opened my eyes to SEE what He sees.

Gifts.

My portion and my cup.
Not perfect.
Not even always washed.
Chipped.
Broken.
Sacred.

~~old pictures, fresh conviction~~

our first great date

Mission: to define and discuss Your Beauty in God's Eyes

The first date in this awesome book, Eight Great Dates for Moms and Daughters, involves going to a proper tea house to celebrate all things beautiful and fancy.
We got all dressed up and got all ready to enjoy some beautiful treats and to relax together.

On the way to the date, the author has made available an mp3 audio for you both to listen to in the car on the way to the date. Since this is the first date, she describes what a secret keeper girl is, and one foundational truth that is the basis for all the dates to come: you are a masterpiece created by God.

The way the author has you illustrate this foundational truth is by using different kinds of cups.

We talked about the fine china, the silver, the linens. The beautiful music, the gorgeous surroundings.

And then we compared it to if we had gone to have this time together at Applebee's or Chick-fil-a. It still would have been great, but there is just something so special about surrounding ourselves with beautiful and delicate things, things that are not common.

As directed to in the book, I pulled out a coffee cup that I use each day, and a styrofoam cup that you can throw away.

We compared our lives, our beauty, our value to these different cups. How many people, who don't know that they are a masterpiece created by God, treat themselves or are treated like ordinary, every day cups. Some even treat themselves like styrofoam: cheap and disposable.

But we know that we are loved, valued, created, cherished by the One True God, and that changes everything!

Dates that are coming up:

Date 2 : Real Physical Beauty

Date 3 : The Source Of Beauty

Date 4 : The Power Of Beauty

Date 5 : Truth Or Bare Fashion

Date 6 : The Bod Squad

Date 7 : Internal Fashion

Date 8 : Affirmation Of Beauty

There was even an mp3 to listen to on the way home, wrapping up the date and the biblical truth. I gave Marie a beautiful tea cup to keep in her room as a way to remember our date and her worth as a child of God. Love this book and these ideas!

how do you spell love?

**rejoicing today with other families who have waited so long to hear good news: referrals! Read here, here, and here!

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today was a crazy day.

there were dishes in the dishwasher that needed to be taken out (clean), dishes in sink that needed to be put in (dirty), dishes wrapped around the counter waiting to be dealt with.

there is clean laundry waiting to be put away, clean laundry waiting to be sorted in a heap upstairs, dirty laundry everywhere.

it was a hard core school day. you know, the kind that you have to have if you want to have lighter days on Fridays. which we do. on Fridays, that's great. On Wednesdays when you have to work, not so great.

This afternoon, I went out to get the mail. I don't usually get the mail since my kids like to do that job, but today I did.

And there was a big bulky envelope waiting for me. Addressed to ME. from one of my very favorite people in the entire world. the person who has loved me the longest of anyone else on this planet.

I went inside, put down my keys and the trash I had gathered from the car, and the rest of the mail. I tore open the package, and there were two "home" kinda magazines (my faves), a Starbucks gift card (my total fave), and a sweet note from my mom.

I melted.

I love that she thought of me.

how did she know?

(well, maybe it was the text I sent her last Thursday asking her to come immediately to my house, a seven hour drive, because I was totally exhausted and officially retiring.)

thanks so much, mom. it meant the world.

my mom and her mom

reading with Kate

helping Marie with her homeschool

meeting Malachi

helping Elizabeth eat something totally yummy

because tonight I needed to laugh

it was one of those days.

i really, really needed to laugh.

8 great dates

Back in February or March, I started to research books that I wanted to read in order to get me ready to talk with Marie about things/changes that are getting ready to happen in her life.

I asked friends.

I googled.

I amazoned.

I read blogs.

I scoured our church library and our public library for materials that explained things in a beautiful, clear way.

Wow.

It was hard to find something I liked!

Some books just gave WAY too much information right off the bat.

Some books had a tone about them that just made these changes seem silly, or like something to mock. Even "christian" books.

But then I found some that may just work, that may give me a map, a plan, a road sign for how to navigate the changes coming soon with dignity and confidence that this is what God planned.

After much thought and deliberation, I bought:
and
I think this American Girl book is very well done. My only beef is that they introduce eating disorders, which I totally don't get. This is a very introductory book about your body and nutrition and health, so introducing what *might* happen or potential problems with eating seems too soon to me (especially when there are a gazillion problems that might happen with all the other things they are introducing, like irregular periods or mood disorders, but none of that gets brought up (nor should it at this point) so why eating disorders get full pages at this stage is beyond me). But I bought it anyway for its respectful tone and clear explanations.

I also bought this for her and this for me.

And then this happened. And my search for great materials and soul food for our upcoming conversations stopped.

Until recently.

Ready or not, the questions are coming. The books came out of the closet. The first date was planned and here is a glimpse:


More details on our first great date to come!